Education Reform, And The Lying Liars That Tell Them!

Representative John Boehner declared recently that he “is in” for the new wave of educational reform in this country, which is being spearheaded by the “National School Choice Week” campaign. In a promotional spot for the campaign last month, Mr. Boehner boldly declared, “Hello, I’m John Boehner.”

I sat down with Boehner at his Ohio home to discuss this radical declaration and his sponsorship of “National School Choice Week.”

“We’re not dumb,” Mr. Boehner stated with strict eloquence while we sat for tea and conversation. “It’s the schools that are dumb. We need to put kids in schools that are not dumb.”

Mr. Boehner stood by his notion of increased parental involvement in our brief encounter, pointing out the long, ubiquitous tradition of parental involvement in the kinds of neighborhoods in which parents arrive home from low-wage jobs at 7:30 p.m. after a 16-hour shift and clearly can’t wait to wash up and make it out to the PTA meeting. You know… The bad neighborhoods.

“We simply need to get rid of the schools that are failing and put our kids in schools that aren’t failing. It’s like when you have a bunch of kids smoking pot in your basement. You can’t just take away the pot. You need to privatize the market and push for government to subsidize the small business owners, (ie. your local dealer), while cutting taxes and limiting government as an incentive to stimulate job creation!”

During my visit with Representative Boehner, it became clear that schools in the U.S. are running rampant with good teachers, excellent administrators, and decent budgets. The problem is clearly, and exclusively, the bad schools. The “National School Choice Week” campaign is advocating the idea that the choice of which school a student should attend in the hands of the parents, a prospect which has been thought possible by giving government subsidies. As such, if we take our students out of bad schools, we’ll do away with the only problem in the educational system, right? Still, I couldn’t understand why schools are so tirelessly nefarious, working day after day on ruining our otherwise excellent system.

I sat down with Governor Rick Scott (R- Fl) to discuss the issue of bad schools. Gov. Scott made headlines with his recent proposal of giving students of low socioeconomic standing “school vouchers” to pay for the different options that would allow parents to make a choice as to what school their child can go to.

“The problem, Ronald, is this notion that we should allow our children to be trapped in bad schools. Those schools are evil and they should be banished for all time to an existence best described as an empty shell of their former selves,” the governor told me during our brief interview.

Gov. Scott’s “educational savings account” idea proposes a fiscal product that would allow eligible parents to obtain “up to 85 percent of the state’s per-pupil funding figure.” When asked about whether federal and state representatives who advocate this plan – (largely conservatives and tea baggers, no affiliation) – planned to enact this change before or after they went through with their promise of cutting all the budgets, education included, Gov. Scott excused himself and proceeded to lock himself in the bathroom for several hours — refusing to come out until I left the premises.

So, logically speaking, what is wrong with the idea of reforming our educational system by keeping the actual system in place and just herding our students off to better schools? Is there nothing to lose with shepherding students through the thoroughfares of a fundamentally flawed system until they’re eventually deposited in the slightly more productive tentacles of a larger, low scoring educational beast which consumes academic integrity like a mystical dark mist shrouding a once small, benevolent, defenseless village?

Admittedly, taking children out of bad schools and putting them in good schools is somewhat productive. Giving parents options in choosing their child’s school is honestly a great idea, as proven by the scholarship program instituted in Washington, D.C. Still, by far the best idea I feel anyone has had is simply the thought that education reform strictly involves getting rid of bad schools, as opposed to fixing a fundamentally flawed system at its core: the bad schools we’re trying to get rid of. So while giving options to parents to choose their own child’s education is honestly a great way to further the cause, the biggest step forward in this move to reform the American educational system has been simply identifying the nemesis.

Now we may enact change because we know that evil schools are the only crumbling part of our money hemorrhaging, low scoring, overcrowded, ill-effective, teacher disdaining, savagely under budgeted, horrifically-administrated and often severely corrupted public education; and that change that will allow us to gracefully herd our kids to the better sites of that same system which has clearly worked for so many in the past.

Republican John A. Boehner's Tan Ready To Rally Conservatives Against Obama In 2012!

Ideas for the 2012 Republican ticket for US president has been kicked around since the day after 2008 election results became known. People across the country have been pressing this hot button, but it's looking like a couple of people have solidified the American expectation for Republcan candidacy. Still in the more hectic, ad-filled seasons, like the midterm we just experienced, we always get strong reminders of the otherwise moderately touched issue. And in 2012, there is but one candidate that's definitely taking the popular vote for the Republican ticket. It's a patriot. It's not a quitter, and It's damn proud of it! It's popular amongst low to mid income moms due to It's known "momma grizzly" status. It's not scared to combat the left-wing incumbent administration, and It's been wowing people since birth. And the most revealing fact for It's new found expectancy as top pick for the Repub's 2012 ticket? It has Sarah Palin's endorsement! You've definitely heard of It's many endorsers that account for a huge part of the youth vote as well as the MTV audience. It's bright and exceptionally outspoken! It's hilarious! It's John A. Boehner's Tan!

Now, the tale of Mr. Boehner's Tan goes back before the Tan officially announced on It's Twitter account that It would be running. And while the Tan has gained both fame and notoriety in DC's ever evolving political scene, the usual famed pundits haven't spared a chance to hypothesize the true meaning of this particular candidate's nomination, specifically in regards to Sarah Palin's endorsement of the previously unexpected candidate. Speculation by said pundits is centered around the nomination being subsequent to Mrs. Palin's own announcement for candidacy. Mrs. Palin, referencing herself in her October 28th interview with Mary Hart of Entertainment Tonight, reminded the electorate of her desire of running only "If there's nobody else to do it."

Much to the dismay of some 'Momma Grizzlies', someone was actually willing to run for president on the Republican ticket. Michael Steele announced last Wednesday afternoon on The Fox News Channel that the Republican National Committee had conferred with Rush Limbough as well as the asset portfolio's of the country's wealthiest 1% and come up with the reasonable conclusion that the only candidate able to pull together the conservative electorate against Obama's reelection campaign would be John A. Boehner's Tan. "The Tan has everything the conservative movement needs in a leader right now", said Mr. Steele on the faux news channel. "We need someone who can rally conservatives the way Obama rallied the left in the 2008 campaign, baby. That constitutes firing-up not only our upper and upper-middle class constituents, but also all those other poor people and the increasingly influential 'MTV youth'." Consequently, Mr. Boehner's Tan announced last night, in what has turned out to be the most politically controversial decision since McCarthy laid foundation for Glenn Beck, that Jersey Shore's own Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi would lead the effort as campaign manager. Subsequently, "Snooki" will be leading the campaign from her home in Marlboro, NY; citing prospective court-appointed community service as her reason for being unable to leave the state. "That's the thing about Snooki", said Mr. Steele on Fox. "She's just a regular girl. And that's what this country needs in it's leaders. Not latte drinking elites like Barack Obama, but just regular people who may or may not be fined several hundred dollars as a consequence of their public behavior. You know, the everyman."

Although "Snooki" was unavailable for comment, (she would only concede to interviews taking place in her favorite New York nightclub after 9 p.m.), I was able to secure an interview with John Boehner on the grounds that I didn't address the Tan directly. Despite my having to face the wall during the interview, I was able to ask Mr. Boehner about the effect his Tan's announced candidacy has had on his career as well as his personal life. "It's been tough", he said on the subject. I could hear his words quivering in his mouth as he slowly broke into his signature soft sob. "It's just that I thought, you know, being elected Minority Leader in 2007 and then being the number one choice for Speaker in this last election, that I would have a shot. But I guess the RNC knows what's best." The congressman was referencing a statement the RNC released just days before my interview with Mr. Boehner commenting on it's overlooking the prospective House Speaker. "Somebody's got to knock down every proposition put forth by House Dems. Congressman Boehner is already in place so it just made sense to keep him there." After comforting the congressman with tea and biscuits my crew had prepared for the expected emotional encounter, Mr. Boehner commented on the political implications the nomination would have for the Republican party and the country's conservative movement. "In 2008, the democratic ticket broke barriers with the election of Barack Obama. Still, putting our best foot forward means more than just changing history. I mean, it's fantastic that the American people get an opportunity to elect the world's first tan president. But more important is the plans the Tan has for the country which exemplify the conservative ideals of restrictive government, lowered taxes, and restricted government spending."

Liberal pundits prove their disconnect to the American people with their criticism of the Tan as a candidate. Award winning pundit Keith Olbermann, on his radical leftist opinion show Countdown with Keith Olbermann, commented on the RNC's announcement on the same evening calling it "Ridiculous", and citing the nomination as "Evidence that there is no one in the Republican leadership that is making any kind of sense really." Olbermann did have some praise for the RNC's nomination, despite his criticisms saying: "It may be sad, but the Tan is simply less insane than any of the other proposed candidates on the right. And for that, I have to commend the RNC on their decision." When asked about Olbermann's comments, Mr. Boehner stated that "He, and frankly liberal democrats altogether, clearly doesn't understand the dire situation Americans are in. My tan's nomination is a direct response from the Republican leadership to the concerns Americans have. It's the same response we had for the Tea Party when they became an even further conservative arm of our party, and it's the same response we have for the country every time we let Sarah Palin loose."

The often radical left has also attacked the nomination on the record front just yesterday, employing the same battle cry they deemed ineffective in 2008 against Obama. "The tan has no damn record! It's a God-damn tan! It can't vote!", said radical left wing political commentator Bill Maher on his HBO show Real Time With Bill Maher on HBO. Conservative commentator Rush Limbough countered with reason saying on his radio show "I've yet, in my life, seen such blatant disregard for civility in this country. The fact is that we need a non-establishment leader! Washington has been taken over by the establishment! The Tan will be the most powerful everyman on the Hill."

The 2012 elections are a long ways away, but the campaigning thereof is set to begin this January. That in mind, it's evident that the Republican leadership has answered the conservative call for action against the establishment. The nomination of John A. Boehner's tan for President not only is a step in making history, but it's an extension of the country's anger with the current ruling class, as displayed in this last election which almost exclusively owes it's result to anger amongst the electorate. We must, as a country, act progressively and displace the progressive movement. We must not let our anger with the government get in the way of sane and reasonable decisions. America has a chance, with this nomination, to fast track the almost overwhelmingly reasonable conservative agenda and put the country back on track while making history. To quote Sarah Palin in her ET interview, in the realm of sanity and reasonability amidst the Republican leadership, "There's nobody else to do it".